Before You Say “I Do”

Q: My 20-year-old niece is marrying in the fall to a wonderful young man. During all the excitement and joy that surrounds this event she asks, “How can I make all this happiness last? Can you help me advise her?”

A: This is a question expressed by family members and friends as they prepare for the marriage of thousands of couples every year. Apparently your niece values your opinion.

The wedding is a fabulous party
The marriage is living this dream
The relationship between the bride and groom is ultimately the most important element, not the myriad of details about planning the wedding.

It’s important that they be sensitive to each other as major decisions are made in the marriage as well.

The best way to keep love alive is to do things together. Of course, this doesn’t mean they have to be “glued-at-the-hip”. Believe me, they will need a little time out from each other, no matter how deep their love.

Don’t forget anniversaries; not just the first one but every one. Do something particularly special on these milestones - go for flowers or a night on the town. Don’t think the man has to take the lead all the time. Wives surprise your husband with dinner at his favorite restaurant. Buy him flowers. Give him a book of poetry and see that he reads it. This could also be about boats or golf or travel; whatever is of particular interest to him. If you do not already know the necessity of teamwork, you will helpfully learn important skills of adaptation and compromise. Apply them to the marriage and build a relationship that endures. Little magic words like: “please, thank you, pardon me and let me get the door,” - all are of value. Please do not leave your etiquette at the altar.

Continue using endearing terms such as “darling, sweetheart and honey,” it really sweetens the day.

You know that fellow who for months has been saying, “Yes, dear, anything you want darling. Whatever you say.” Well he’s become the husband, who’s now saying, “Save the Last Dance for Me.” Always save that one last dance for each other.

The secret: The three C’s: courtesy, compromise, consideration. May your marriage be as happy as your wedding day!